A tech spring clean 

Just turned my tablet on for the first time in a while, it was running like a reliant robin on ice, in other words slowly. 

I decided it was time for a tech spring clean and challenged my self to be honest so I used this…..

  1. No, it goes 
  2. Not sure, it’s got a week to be useful 
  3. Yes

I cleared a lot if space on my tablet but not so successful on my phone. 

But it made me think, what do I have running in my brain that needs shuttin down or deleting. 

I’ve spent a lot of time optimising my thought processes over the last few years and yes as my mentor points out, sometimes I slip, I’ve begun to recognise my negative pathways, and ‘re engage my intellect, but those old sub routines are still there waiting for my amygdala to take over again.

The chimp paradox speaks of gremlins and goblins and searching for them, but then Emma says negative introspection is a bad thing and she’s right, its someone elses job to find my gremlins and goblins if they continue to dog me,  so instead of looking for them I am actively engaging my intellect as much as possible 

  • Instead of spending all day listening to the radio, whilst I’m driving I listen to audio books, some self help and learning also most recently IT by Stephen king.
  • As I’ve detailed before TV has had its influence greatly reduced, along with the news programs, I do however enjoy the afternoon drama on BBC radio 4
  • I’m slowly learning to find solutions to problems instead of just the problem. 

So maybe we could all benefit from a mental spring clean from time to time defragging and deleting the mind 


Another beautiful morning 

It’s  7am on the Sunday of Mayday weekend and I’m up and out with my ever faithful hound Stella. The sun is shining, shadows are long because the sun is still low in the eastern sky

 Various birdsong fills the air with only the crunch of my footfall disturbing an otherwise peaceful scene. 

A pigeons call breaks through the birdsong and apart from the odd fallen or dead tree everything is green, multiple shades of green offset by a virtually cloudless blue sky. 

My eyes pick out the oaks and the odd pinetree but I’ve little knowledge if the identities of most and my knowledge of the birdsong is equally vague. 

A conker  (horse chestnut) tree laden with flowers pricks memories of me with my grandad lobbing a stick at the freshest conkers taking them home and stringing them to play conkers the following day. But then health and safety has outlawed that or made it so bogged down in safety that kids can’t play the game unsupervised. 

A distant inquisitive fox checks Stella and I out and obviously considers us a threat as it turns and runs, either we’re nowhere near it’s set or it’s leading us off, 

A new border of blue flowerheads this time not blue bell but apparently a flowering nettle. 

Electricity pylons now break my perfect view, a mechanized reminder that these Roman woods are living a modern existence and that I am only minutes away from the civilization of Colchester or as the Romans knew it Camolodunum. 

The pylons are past us, and we veer right along a naturally made tunnel of trees interwoven. 

Looking up a few passenger liners vapour trails reminder further of the modern times, now two magpie scatter as stella hurdles toward them and she gives me that look as if to say that’s not fair or is this a hunt or just a pointless ramble. 

Now a rabbit scarpers for equal reason into the hedgerow, the tunnel breaks, stella has the scent of something, looking at me as if to say come on let’s go after it. 

A new birdsong, sounding like a kids laser gun, must be close as it dominates the landscape. 

If my mother in law or my partner Louise were with me now I’m sire they’d identify all or most of the flora and fauna but sadly neither are, as Lou has ailments that limit her walking and my mother in law is 20 miles away and would have equal problems with the distance. 

Suddenly I notice my mind has disengaged and is wondering emotionally I ‘re engage my mind picking up this post, continuing to write, I’ve been actively engaging my mind a lot lately from the guidance if Emma Triplets book Stepping out of the clouds instead of being depressed by the news on the radio I’m listening to more and more audio books. 

My walk draws near to a close as we pass Rockys home. Rocky is a golden retriever and stella one true friend who stella will always look out for. 

The path of the jedi 

Anakin you’re focusing on the negative, be mindful of the now. 

Just one lesson that reality can learn from the saga. 

Your focus determines your reality said be master Yoda.

Both lessons I myself have learnt. 

My anxieties and suspicions of my fathers Final conversation created anger and a rage inside that had me suspicious of family members.  But with guidance my focus is on the positives of my memories.  

But then aren’t most of us more likely in sine way sith,  who wouldn’t dear the death of a loved one, exasperated by murder and the drive for vengeance would be overwhelming, add that to the powers of the force and that abilities of the sabre.

Then you have the manipulation of Anakin by sidious’ who plants in Anakin head that he can save padmes life, so Anakin rebels. 

The underbelly 

I have always been interested in how or why things work. It’s led to me understanding on a simplistic level, induction, compression, explosion, exhaust the principals of the car induction  Engine. 

I had reason to have a short session of counselling a few years back, and it didn’t really work, at first. Now I know why 

Having read another chapter of Emma Tripplet’s new book Stepping out of the clouds I wonder if it was the wrong therapy for me, cognitive behaviour therapy or cbt. But having read the chimp paradox and partly Emma’s book I understand what’s happening so I can implement it, because I CAN build a plan, I honestly think that is why I have found the 2 books so empowering. 

I wouldn’t change a single thing 

My life, like yours, has had its up and downs, it curve balls and it’s fast balls. But I wouldn’t change a single thing! 

I learned from my time in the Royal Air Force, from my failed relationships, losing my job,  need I go on. 

The point being every step I’ve taken has a lesson attached, my present job has lasted over 3 years so far and I’ve only had 3 unplanned days off. 

If I hadn’t learned my lesson from being considered unreliable with poor sickness record I’d still take time off fir every cold I get. 

If I hadn’t met my ex I would appreciate Louise as much as I do. 

Every step you take,is a step in the right direction,as long as it’s not backwards. I’ve spent too long with regrets, until I teamed those regrets into lessons. 

Lessons learned,from any situation, are all valuable, as a valued mentor points out regularly,if you want a different outcome, you need to change what your putting in.

Review of week 50

Work wise it’s been go,  go,  go. Non stop clocking up over a thousand miles largely thanks to my trip to Bournemouth on Monday.  

Personally speaking I’ve learnt that I can be assertive when I need to be,   I’ve become more aware of mindfulness. I’ve continued to apply the lessons of the chimp paradox and continued  reading Emma Tripplet’s new book Stepping out of the clouds. But I am a slow reader, reading mainly when I get opportunities during breaks.