What scares me most 

Although I now  know why,  my moments of uncontrollable rage that are i admit now much fewer on number than they used to be, are what scares me most. 

In the past I’ve verbally attacked people close me,  frightening my mother amongst others. although I do now realise it was Clarence (my inner chimp ) defending himself,  his point of view,  territory or some other pointless battle ground I seriously regret my actions and I’m personally grateful that my sister, and most recently my sister in law,  are both talking to me.  

It wasn’t until I read the chimp paradox  that I began to understand myself. learning to sooth Clarence when he wants to go off on one at whoever has upset him is still an on going apprenticeship 


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