The chimp paradox has a whole chapter on “the troop” A chimp is part of a troop, from the moment it’s born, and unless it doesn’t toe the party line, until it dies.
Well the same can be said for you and I. and before I read the book, everyone was in my troop, which meant I felt a sense of duty to everyone and I would morph to those surrounding me.
But then I realised there was a lot of Bad influences who I steadily cut away,
But I’m a teacher, to my daughter, nephew and nieces. A driver for my boss, does that mean they’re part of my troop, not unless I choose, but I’m part of theirs because for now they’ve chosen that.
My Troop consists of :
Nieces and nephews
EMMA Triplet (I may never meet her, but she’s my master yoda!)
My brother whom iv temporarily fallen out with.
But my troop, like life, is transient which is something that you have to realise too, my mother is 79 and will no doubt leave us some time soon.
I’m sure you can think of other transitions, but being aware of this and planning for some inevitable events does make it easier.
I’m no psychologist, but this is my interpretation of that chapter and my putting into reality, because I CAN I CAN I CAN you just watch me! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
Another way of seeing this, I’ve detailed before, see yourself as a ship, a ship cannot sail with only a captain, it needs a navigator, a weapons officer, comms. Choose the right crew and whatever Neptune throws at you, they’ll get you through.