Why is it I can write down, or describe how i feel on here, but I cannot talk about how I feel with the people close to me, the only person I used to be able to (pictured above) is my dear old Dad.
I also used to be able to talk to my brother when I was young, but we’ve grown apart.
The only time I really talk about how I feel, is when I lose my temper, and even though I realise that I don’t get taken seriously because I’ve lost my temper.
I recently had a real chat with my brother though, my sister-in-law and neices were away, and it was just us, before knocking kn the door I told Clarence to keep calm and leg my intellect talk, and it worked, I did actually orate how I felt, (before you say it, I know I contradicted myself)
I can learn techniques to deal with things but it is not NATURAL to me.
I know then that thus is a chimp thing, and that I can overcome it, but I know I’m going to get into situations when I cannot prepare Clarence, and speaking if an actual situation that did happen, if I walk away, I’m accused of running away, being weak.
The reason I’m thinking this today is because of a conversation I forced myself to have with my daughter
Who has an amazing strength of character to say exactly what she thinks, and I told her that I was proud of her, and that I found it hard to open up the way she can.
In writing this I’ve realised why I find it so hard, it’s because it’s with people who’ve, in my opinion, have betrayed me or my trust.
See told you I CAN I CAN I CAN you just watch me!!!!!!!!!